Well, the world is up to its tricks. Things are unstable, chaotic even. Political shenanigans, pandemics, climate change, warfare…you name it. And the speed and volume of information coursing through the internet only makes the world feel more frenzied.

As a result, you might feel vulnerable, under threat, on high alert. Maybe you feel scared or enraged or hopeless.

And that’s totally okay!

It’s perfectly normal for our nervous systems to go into “protection mode” during times of heightened instability. When we feel threatened, the autonomic nervous system, operating beneath the level of our conscious awareness, shifts us into a survival state. The next thing we know, we’re ramped up and anxious, or frozen in fear, or dissociated and depressed.

It’s just how the nervous system works, trying to keep us safe. Again, these inner shifts are automatically happening in response to perceived dangers. To some extent, this process is out of our control.

BUT…we do have some say in the matter. We do have some agency.

So, what can we do to feel more at ease? What can we do to “regulate” our nervous systems?

We can “stop & drop.”

This is a practice I’ve been using with clients lately, to help them develop the skill of shifting from “protection mode” to “connection mode.” Stop & drop.

“Stop” means “stop clinging to your story,” even for just a moment or two. Press pause on the conversation you’re having with yourself. Loosen your grip on the narrative thread. Step back from your entanglement in the mental web. Let your mind “flash” on the experience of letting it all go.

That doesn’t mean you need to stop thinking. That’d be impossible! Thoughts are “mind events” that just happen, regardless of our say-so.

Our power lies in how we respond to the thoughts that are arising. Maybe we’re stuck in a loop of worrying about politics, for instance. In this practice of “stopping,” we’re noticing the story the mind is telling, and we’re pausing our active participation in it. We’re giving ourselves permission to stop clutching to that story, at least temporarily.

This is how we “stop.”

We’re remembering that we don’t have a whole lot of control over what’s happening “out there,” but we do have control over something “in here”—how we’re responding to the events of our minds. So, we’re taking advantage of that power by pausing our attachment to the story.

Now comes the second part of this practice: “Drop.”

Here, we “drop an anchor in safe connection.”

What’s “safe connection”? It’s the state of the nervous system when we’re feeling resourced, regulated, and resilient. When we’re feeling safely engaged with our life.

Now, how do we “drop an anchor” in this state? Well, that varies from person to person.

For some, taking a few slow, smooth, nourishing breaths will serve as an anchor of safe connection. For others, it will be a conscious softening of the muscles. Or a feeling of a smile of the heart. Or a memory of what it’s like to feel at ease. Or simply a moment of listening, either inwardly or outwardly.

In my sessions, I help people explore their connection-mode anchors. They start to build a portfolio of anchors that they can “drop” as a way of nudging the nervous system toward safe connection.

So, I’m curious…what’s a connection-mode anchor for you?

What provides you with a gateway to feeling safely engaged with your life? What helps you shift out of survival mode, toward ease and comfort and confidence?

Maybe it’s a subtle bodily adjustment (like fine-tuning the breath), or a whole-body activity (like tai chi), or maybe it’s a mental action (like recalling a heart-warming memory).

Or perhaps it’s an “external” anchor—something outside your body and mind—a person or animal or place or thing that nudges you in the direction of safe connection.

You might like to close your eyes and call to mind a personal connection-mode anchor…or two…or many! If you’re having trouble finding one, email me and I’ll suggest a few options.

Now, once you have at least one anchor in your possession, take a few moments to play with this “stop & drop” exercise.

Start with “stop”: If you’re feeling hooked on a particular mental narrative, see if you can step back from it. Loosen your grip on it. “Flash” your mind on the experience of letting it go.

And next, drop an anchor in safe connection.

Ahhhhh! Let yourself savor any morsels of ease, grounding, security, spaciousness...

And then notice whatever comes next. Let yourself be especially curious about any bodily cues of regulation and ease—maybe a belly-gurgle or a yawn. Maybe there’s an emotion that arises, now that there’s some space for it to do so.

Anchoring in safe connection might only last for a few seconds, before the “pull” of the world returns. That’s okay. “Stopping and dropping” is an important action. You’re planting a seed. You’re strengthening your capacity to shift your nervous system from “protection” to “connection.”

For some, this practice of “stopping and dropping” might seem like a frivolous, inconsequential action. For others, it might seem impossible to accomplish. But, I assure you, it’s both profound and doable.

As we make a habit of “stopping and dropping,” it becomes easier and easier. We start to build a “home” in safe connection.

And that’s a big deal, because we’re limited when we’re living in protection mode. When our nervous system is chronically in a survival state, we lose access to our resources—simple resources like clear thinking and smooth digestion and a sense of belonging. So, it greatly benefits us to learn how to develop pathways out of protection and into connection.

“Stop & drop” is the first step in the “3 Steps to Connection” that I’ve been sharing with clients. You can learn about the “3 Steps to Connection” in two ways:

(1) In one-on-one sessions with me, either in-person or online (learn more here); and
(2) In the second part of my online course Homecoming (check it out here).

As we nurture our nervous systems—as we establish safe connection as our default mode—our inner harmony naturally benefits others. It leads to a saner, safer world.