In this article and this video, I’ve established that the two primary modes of our nervous systems are “connection” and “protection.”

In connection mode, we feel safe; we feel engaged with life; we feel connected inwardly and outwardly. When we’re in connection mode, arousal (our up-waves) and restoration (our down-waves) occur as manageable undulations in the background of our experience.

“Arousal” refers to all our activity in the world, from waking up to getting dressed to eating breakfast to going outside. “Restoration” represents the yin to arousal’s yang; this is our capacity to rest-and-digest, to “down-shift” our experience.

In connection mode, up-waves and down-waves reside within a “zone of tolerance” (also known as a “window of resilience”). You can see the upper and lower boundaries of this zone in the picture below. When we’re operating within our zone of tolerance, we feel like we’re “in the flow.” We ride the waves of arousal and restoration, navigating life’s challenges without getting too high or too low.

But sometimes, dangers arise and we need to move into protection mode. Protection mode comes in two flavors: hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal.

In hyper-arousal, energy floods into our body. We can now enact the fight-or-flight response, so that we can act with speed and power (think of reacting to a fire or avoiding a falling tree branch). Or we can move into the freeze response (say someone has broken into our home and we don’t want to be noticed).

In hypo-arousal, we collapse—energy floods out of our system so that we can go numb to that which is overwhelming (maybe we’ve been pinned in a car crash or cornered by an abuser).

In hyper-arousal, our wave is peaking above the upper threshold of our zone of tolerance (shown in the picture below). In hypo-arousal, our down-wave dips below the lower boundary (also shown below).

If protection mode becomes our default mode, our everyday way of operating, then our waves—our lives—become very uncomfortable. If hyper-arousal is our default, we might experience chronic anxiety, fright, and insomnia. Whereas, if hypo-arousal becomes our everyday reality, we tend to sink into depression, fatigue, and hopelessness.

Many of us ping-pong back and forth between hyper- and hypo-arousal, making for an unpleasant roller coaster ride.

So how do we find harmony in our nervous systems?

It’s not the case that we never want to be in protection mode. Our two flavors of protection mode are superpowers; they help us survive, and we want to honor them. But we also want to reserve protection mode only for when we really need it. And we want to be able to leave protection mode when it’s no longer needed. We want to make connection mode our home—a familiar, reliable abode.

A primary way that I help clients develop this capacity is through the practice of tick-tocking (also called “pendulation”). Tick-tocking features a gradual back-and-forth between our arousal and restoration states (our up-waves and down-waves). In my clinic, I provide guidance in this practice while the client is comfortably lying on the table receiving acupuncture and touchwork.

At the outset, I help the person access some felt sense of being resourced and resilient. At least to some small degree, they’re experiencing what it’s like to be in connection mode.

And then, in a gradual and safe way, I guide them in exploring the upper and lower reaches of their waves—even the places where they enter protection mode.

What is it like to experience the peak of the wave—arousal? How about experiencing arousal that verges on hyper-arousal, as in anxiety or anger? Where does this experience reside in the body? What does arousal (and hyper-arousal) feel like? What are its qualities, its associated images and gestures, its messages? Some typical examples of how arousal might manifest are: jaw clenching; chest or belly tension; racing thoughts; heat sensations; and fidgeting.

On the other end of the spectrum, what is it like to experience the down-wave of restoration, including when it verges on the hypo-arousal of collapse? We often experience collapse as a sense of numbness, spaciness, and lethargy. Can we remain open and curious about these states?

We’re exploring the waves of arousal and restoration, expansion and contraction, in a titrated (gradual, gentle) way, so that it’s not overwhelming. Going just to the edge of hyper- or hypo-arousal, with an attitude of gentle curiosity, of tenderness and patience. We’re getting to know and relate to these waves, these pendulum swings, and, in some cases, to the protection modes that these waves lead us to.

And we continually return to our home base, our resource state. As we practice tick-tocking, gently pendulating between arousal and restoration, ebbing and flowing between connection and low-grade protection, something happens in our nervous systems. We start to expand our connection-mode experience. Our window of tolerance widens. Our traumas begin to transform. We find that the up-waves and the down-waves are increasingly manageable.

We’re synching with the larger life-rhythms of expansion and contraction that are pulsing all around us. As Alaine Duncan writes, with tick-tocking we’re “restoring the dynamic and life-giving movement, relationship, and tension between yin and yang.” We’re starting to recognize our connection to the breath of life—up and down, opening and closing, activating and restoring.

Through this practice, we can discover that we don’t need protection mode as much as we used to. It’s still there, of course. Still available for when we do need it. But it’s no longer our default mode.

And when we do land in protection mode, we find that we now have familiar and reliable pathways to travel when we want to leave it, pathways back into connection mode. We’re strengthening our resilience. We’re developing nervous-system harmony. We’re deftly surfing our waves of aliveness.

Photo Credit: https://kriswilliams.medium.com/how-life-is-like-a-pendulum-8811c4177685